Cred c-a\u0219 \u00eencepe cu \u201dsalut\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cemi place mult formula asta de la o vreme. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi a\u0219 ezita pu\u021bin, ne\u0219tiind dac\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi sar \u00een bra\u021be sau s\u0103 a\u0219tept s\u0103 faci tu primul pas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dar te-a\u0219 privi cu ochii mari, fl\u0103m\u00e2nzi, doritori s\u0103-\u0219i ia revan\u0219a pentru to\u021bi anii \u0103\u0219tia \u00een care nu te-au putut vedea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u0219 face un pas spre tine \u0219i-a\u0219 z\u00e2mbi \u00een col\u021bul drept al gurii, \u0219treng\u0103re\u0219te, a\u0219a cum f\u0103ceam c\u00e2nd eram mic\u0103 \u0219i-\u021bi ascundeam cosmeticele, \u00ee\u021bi aminte\u0219ti?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
C\u00e2t te admiram \u0219i c\u00e2t de greu \u00eemi era s\u0103 exprim asta! Mi-a fost mai u\u0219or atunci s\u0103-mi exteriorizez furia pentru faptul c\u0103 erai preferata mamei \u0219i avea\u021bi secretele voastre \u00een care eu nu aveam loc; p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 erau 13 ani diferen\u021b\u0103 \u00eentre noi. Am \u00een\u021beles asta t\u00e2rziu. Nu ai mai fost aici s\u0103-\u021bi spun \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nici atunci nu \u0219tiam ce e r\u0103bdarea, nici azi nu am descoperit-o pe deplin, a\u0219a c\u0103 a\u0219teptarea ar fi scurt\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu ai reac\u021biona tu, probabil c\u0103 (sigur) te-a\u0219 \u00eentreba eu dac\u0103 te pot \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219a. Te-a\u0219 cuprinde cu bra\u021bele tremur\u00e2nde, orfane de tine at\u00e2\u021bia ani, \u0219i \u021bi-a\u0219 dansa cu degetele pe omopla\u021bi, c\u0103 acolo, \u00eentre ei, se g\u0103se\u0219te \u0219i se simte esen\u021ba uman\u0103. \u0218i te-a\u0219 sim\u021bi vie \u00een buricele degetelor, \u0219i-a\u0219 \u00eenchide ochii \u0219i-a\u0219 inspira ad\u00e2nc, ca de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd ating ceva ce vreau s\u0103-mi r\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een amintirea c\u0103rnii \u0219i dincolo de ea. A\u0219 suspina de dou\u0103 ori – m\u0103 \u0219tii doar, pl\u00e2ng \u0219i dac\u0103 te ui\u021bi la mine – \u0219i te-a\u0219 \u021bine a\u0219a \u00een bra\u021be p\u00e2n\u0103 ar deveni cringe \u0219i mi-ai cere s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi dau drumul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am r\u00e2de am\u00e2ndou\u0103 \u0219i-apoi \u021bi-a\u0219 propune s\u0103 facem cl\u0103tite cu br\u00e2nz\u0103 \u0219i cu carne la cuptor – \u00eenc\u0103 le simt gustul, de\u0219i de la tine \u00eencoace nu am g\u0103sit pe nimeni care s\u0103 \u0219tie s\u0103 le fac\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-a\u0219 str\u0103dui s\u0103 \u00eemi amintesc ceva ce \u00ee\u021bi place, dar a\u0219 fail-ui grav. \u00cemi aduc aminte forma unghiilor, ochii, p\u0103rul, mersul, r\u00e2sul, trusa de cosmetice, parfumul \ud83d\ude42 Dar nu \u0219i ceva ce \u00ee\u021bi pl\u0103cea, \u00een afar\u0103 de Celine Dion, iarna, Cr\u0103ciunul, Francis Cabrel, L\u2019air du temps, Chanel no 5, costumele \u0219i limba francez\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u021ai-a\u0219 povesti despre mine \u0219i ai r\u00e2de de toate dudele pe care le-am f\u0103cut \u0219i \u00eenc\u0103 le fac \u0219i mi-ai spune: \u201dtot copil ai r\u0103mas\u201d, iar eu \u021bi-a\u0219 r\u0103spunde: \u201d\u0219i foarte bine, c\u0103 prea e plin\u0103 lumea asta de adul\u021bi care au uitat s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103\u201d. Ai da din cap afirmativ \u0219i m-ai \u00eentreba despre ai no\u0219tri. Te-ar \u00eentrista s\u0103 \u0219tii c\u0103 dinamica lor nu s-a schimbat, nici dup\u0103 at\u00e2\u021bia ani. Nu, ei nu s-au mai ridicat dup\u0103 plecarea ta. Au r\u0103mas acolo jos, \u00eengenunchia\u021bi \u00een fa\u021ba morm\u00e2ntului t\u0103u din fiin\u021ba lor, retr\u0103ind pierderea ta pe repeat. \u0218i da, cel mai greu le e de S\u0103rb\u0103tori. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218tii c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti pe buzele lor? Acolo n-ai murit niciodat\u0103. \u0218tii c\u0103 mama \u00eenc\u0103 m\u0103 compar\u0103 cu tine? Chiar \u0219i dup\u0103 at\u00e2\u021bia ani. A\u0219a c\u0103 nevoia de a fi cea mai bun\u0103, de a demonstra, teama c\u0103 nu sunt de ajuns, mi-au guvernat alegerile \u0219i m-au f\u0103cut s\u0103 \u00eenchid ochii \u00een fa\u021ba bucuriilor vie\u021bii \u0219i s\u0103 le transform pe toate \u00een competi\u021bii. Nu cu al\u021bii. Nici m\u0103car cu mine \u00eens\u0103mi. Ci cu tine. Iar tu nici m\u0103car nu mai erai aici. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ce \u021bi-ar pl\u0103cea la ei, sunt sigur\u0103, e c\u0103 au \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 spun\u0103 \u201dte iubesc\u201d. \u0218i-mi spun des. Dac\u0103 se \u0219i simte a\u0219a, asta e alt\u0103 poveste. Dar pentru ei e un progres care m\u0103 bucur\u0103 fantastic. Sunt sigur\u0103 c\u0103 \u0219i pe tine.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-ai \u00eentreba care e cea mai frumoas\u0103 amintire pe care o am cu tine \u0219i \u021bi-a\u0219 spune c\u0103 toate Cr\u0103ciunurile petrecute \u00eempreun\u0103, la un loc.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Te-a\u0219 \u00eentreba acela\u0219i lucru \u0219i mi-ai spune c\u0103 cea mai frumoas\u0103 \u0219i trist\u0103 totodat\u0103 este venirea mea pe lume. \u0218i-a\u0219 \u00een\u021belege. Mi-ai fost \u0219i sor\u0103 \u0219i p\u0103rinte c\u00e2t mi-ai fost, iar dup\u0103 ce nu mi-ai mai fost, am f\u0103cut eu ad\u0103post din lipsa ta. Lipsa ta a trezit \u00een mine spiritul crea\u021biei, iar azi \u00ee\u021bi scriu – cred – ultima scrisoare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Acum ascult Francis Cabrel \u0219i am o poz\u0103 cu noi \u00een bibliotec\u0103. A\u0219a am \u00eenceput s\u0103 scriu in the first place, \u00ee\u021bi aminte\u0219ti? Am scris despre tine \u00een timp ce priveam o poz\u0103 de-a ta care mi s-a p\u0103rut \u00eentotdeauna c\u0103 nu \u00ee\u021bi face dreptate, \u0219i ascultam la walkmanul t\u0103u cu c\u0103\u0219tile rupte \u0219i lipite con\u0219tiincios cu scoci, ce s\u0103 vezi, tot Cabrel. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-am \u00eendr\u0103gostit de francez\u0103 \u0219i de muzic\u0103 datorit\u0103 \u021bie, a\u0219a cred. Urechile mele, sim\u021burile mele tresar toate c\u00e2nd aud sau pronun\u021b cuvinte \u00een francez\u0103; e ca \u0219i cum limba asta m\u0103 aduce la via\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Au ap\u0103rut mul\u021bi c\u00e2nt\u0103re\u021bi francezi care \u021bi-ar pl\u0103cea, sunt convins\u0103. Louane, Illiona, Emma Peters, Oscar Anton. Louane e pe stilul t\u0103u \u0219i-al lui Cabrel: boem\u0103, dulce, armonioas\u0103, trist\u0103 \u0219i, clar, simte totul tare intens. La asta ne asem\u0103n\u0103m, se pare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cred c\u0103 asta e ultima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi scriu. Nu c\u0103 n-a\u0219 mai vrea, ci nu cred s\u0103 mai am nevoie. Mi-am g\u0103sit cumva, se pare, lini\u0219tea aia care-mi lipsea c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi scriam. \u00cenc\u0103 mi-e dor de tine; nu cred c\u0103 va trece vreodat\u0103 dorul \u0103sta, e din\u2019\u0103la \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2nat, ca un pensionar a c\u0103rui singur\u0103 ocupa\u021bie e s\u0103 fie prezent acolo la datorie pentru ceilal\u021bi, ascuns \u00een col\u021burile inimii, dar zgomotos c\u00e2nd le e lumea mai drag\u0103. Exist\u0103 de dinainte s\u0103 ne na\u0219tem noi \u0219i va continua s\u0103 existe mult dup\u0103 ce ultimul vers va fi vreodat\u0103 scris pe lumea asta. C\u0103 dorul \u0103sta e o stea, \u0219i \u0103sta e rolul lui aici: s\u0103 dea tonul \u00eentoarcerilor spre sine – ale omului, ale v\u00e2ntului, ale vie\u021bii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218tii, cred c\u0103 \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it \u00eenv\u0103\u021b ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 \u201clet go\u201d. S\u0103 accept ce a fost \u0219i ce e. C\u00e2nd mi-o ia pieptul la goan\u0103 dup\u0103 g\u00e2ndurile alea vechi pe care le cuno\u0219ti deja, e ceva \u00een mine, acolo \u00eentre omopla\u021bi, care m\u0103 opre\u0219te, ca o atingere bl\u00e2nd\u0103 pe um\u0103rul drept \u0219i-un ritm de respira\u021bie calm\u0103, cu pauz\u0103 de g\u00e2ndire, dar turbo la sim\u021bire \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cred c\u0103 e, deci, ultima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi scriu. \u0218i de\u0219i sun\u0103 counterintuitive, pentru mine \u0103sta este un \u00eenceput. Cumva cred c\u0103 \u0219i pentru tine, oriunde ai fi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Acum simt s\u0103 s\u0103rb\u0103toresc \u201dnoi-ul\u201d pe care l-am creat \u00een acei 10 ani din care nu \u00eemi amintesc prea multe, ce-i drept, dar ceva de dincolo de mine \u00ee\u0219i aminte\u0219te tot. Simt s\u0103 s\u0103rb\u0103toresc dorul pe care \u021bi-l port \u0219i, de\u0219i sun\u0103 ciudat, lipsa ta, care m-a condus aici, \u00een punctul \u00een care sunt ast\u0103zi – nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 mai aproape de mine sau de cer; sau poate e totuna \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cred c\u0103 e ultima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi scriu pentru c\u0103 e ceva \u00een mine care vrea s\u0103-\u021bi dea drumul, s\u0103 treac\u0103 peste dup\u0103 ce a trecut prin, s\u0103 renun\u021be la ceea ce \u0219i-a jucat deja rolul. Cred c\u0103 am repetat at\u00e2t de mult ultimele replici din piesa aia de teatru \u00eenc\u00e2t chiar am ajuns s\u0103 pot s\u0103 renun\u021b la oameni \u0219i la lucruri, \u0219i totul a \u00eenceput \u00eentr-o zi de \u201dm\u00e2ine, la r\u0103s\u0103rit\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00ce\u021bi mul\u021bumesc pentru c\u0103 mi-ai fost \u0219i pentru c\u0103 de la un punct \u00eencolo ai decis s\u0103 nu-mi mai fii, iar asta m-a adus \u00een clipa \u00een care eu am ales s\u0103 \u00eemi fiu, \u0219i restul nu mai conteaz\u0103.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was nice while it lasted \u0219i azi sunt grateful pentru asta. S\u0103-\u021bi fie bine, s\u0103 zbori cu \u00eencredere oriunde te poart\u0103 \u201dcuren\u021bii cerului\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Love you forever, sis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Iar azi, iubirea asta e cu bucurie. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Cred c-a\u0219 \u00eencepe cu \u201dsalut\u201d. \u00cemi place mult formula asta de la o vreme. Apoi a\u0219 ezita pu\u021bin, ne\u0219tiind dac\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi sar \u00een bra\u021be sau s\u0103 a\u0219tept s\u0103 faci tu primul pas. Dar te-a\u0219 privi cu ochii mari, fl\u0103m\u00e2nzi, doritori s\u0103-\u0219i ia revan\u0219a pentru to\u021bi anii \u0103\u0219tia \u00een care nu te-au putut vedea. A\u0219 face…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":710,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-confessions"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/stefanie-jockschat-Z_36UPzKFlc-unsplash-scaled.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/709","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=709"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/709\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":715,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/709\/revisions\/715"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/710"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}