{"id":809,"date":"2025-11-22T11:04:31","date_gmt":"2025-11-22T11:04:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/?p=809"},"modified":"2025-11-22T11:04:34","modified_gmt":"2025-11-22T11:04:34","slug":"e-atata-caldura-in-inceputuri","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/?p=809","title":{"rendered":"[e at\u00e2ta c\u0103ldur\u0103 \u00een \u00eenceputuri]"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

– Ai ascultat?<\/span><\/p>\n

– Da.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Cum a fost pentru tine?<\/span><\/p>\n

– Ca sarea \u00een bucate.<\/span><\/p>\n

Z\u00e2mbim. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 vorbim aproape zilnic \u0219i m\u0103 bucur\u0103 treaba asta. Simt c\u0103 totul \u00eencepe s\u0103 prind\u0103 sens, iar pentru mine sensul e non-negociabil. \u00cel caut \u00een toate, dintotdeauna, iar uneori am ajuns s\u0103 \u00eel inventez din nevoia de a avea unul. Nu cred c\u0103 exist\u0103 neadev\u0103r mai mare dec\u00e2t sensul pe care \u00eel atribuim unor \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103ri care pur \u0219i simplu nu au unul.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– Cu ce ai r\u0103mas?<\/span><\/p>\n

R\u00e2d \u0219i reformulez:<\/span><\/p>\n

– Ce a r\u0103mas cu mine, vrei s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrebi?<\/span><\/p>\n

Clipe\u0219te a \u201dda\u201d. Uneori cuvintele se aga\u021b\u0103 de mine ca de un salvator, ca \u0219i cum au nevoie de cineva s\u0103 le spun\u0103 \u00eentr-un fel anume.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– Alinare. Re\u00eentregire. Punct \u0219i virgul\u0103. Fitil. Lini\u0219te. Din nou. Diferit. Cale albe. Constela\u021bii. Plin\u0103tate. Clip\u0103. Dulce. Carou.<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218i ce vrei s\u0103 faci cu ele?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– S\u0103 le a\u0219tern.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Cum?<\/span><\/p>\n

– A\u0219a cum sunt. \u0218i le pun la \u00eencol\u021bit \u00een v\u0103zul tuturor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u00cen sim\u021bul, vrei s\u0103 zici.<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u00cen sim\u021bul tuturor. Or s\u0103 dea ele na\u0219tere la ce e nevoie, c\u00e2nd e nevoie.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218i dincolo?<\/span><\/p>\n

– Dincolo e \u2026 \u0219tii tu.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218tiu. C\u00e2nd o s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi faci curaj?<\/span><\/p>\n

– Cur\u00e2nd.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Vindecarea s-a aflat dintotdeauna dincolo de o u\u0219\u0103 pe care nu am avut niciodat\u0103 \u00eenainte curaj s\u0103 intru. Mi se arat\u0103 peste tot, \u00een diferite feluri, \u00een simboluri pe care nu le \u00een\u021beleg dec\u00e2t eu, \u00een semne care m\u0103 aga\u021b\u0103, precum cuvintele puse la \u00eencol\u021bit. O u\u0219\u0103 pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 care trec \u00een timp ce-mi \u021bin respira\u021bia, de dincolo de care m\u0103 leag\u0103n\u0103 voci calde, m\u0103 m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie pe cre\u0219tet mame \u00eentregi, m\u0103 \u00eencurajeaz\u0103 ta\u021bi s\u0103n\u0103to\u0219i \u0219i iubitori, m\u0103 \u021bin de m\u00e2n\u0103 surori vii, de unde eu m\u0103 caut \u0219i m\u0103 g\u0103sesc r\u00e2nd pe r\u00e2nd f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 mai abandonez \u00een nevoi str\u0103ine. De ceva vreme, vocile, care c\u00e2ndva m\u0103 leg\u0103nau, m\u0103 strig\u0103 ferm \u0219i ap\u0103sat, iar eu le aud \u00een spatele urechilor, printre firele de p\u0103r cu care \u00eencerc s\u0103-mi acop\u0103r ezitarea. \u0218i cumva, m\u0103 simt preg\u0103tit\u0103.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00cemi cite\u0219te g\u00e2ndurile:<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218tii c\u0103, dac\u0103 le auzi, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 e\u0219ti preg\u0103tit\u0103. Altfel nu ai vedea semnele, nu ai auzi chem\u0103rile, nu ai sim\u021bi \u0219iroaiele de \u00eenceput care \u00ee\u021bi dau t\u00e2rcoale.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218tiu. Cred, adic\u0103.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218tii.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218tiu.<\/span><\/p>\n

– De ce te temi?<\/span><\/p>\n

– De definitiv. Pu\u021bin c\u00e2te pu\u021bin am tot \u00eenaintat p\u00e2n\u0103 acum. Am acceptat pu\u021bin, \u0219i-apoi nu am mai acceptat. Am \u00een\u021beles pu\u021bin, \u0219i-apoi n-am mai vrut s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– Asta e via\u021ba, ce-mi spui tu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Cam mult z\u00e2mbesc \u00een ultima vreme, realizez. \u00cen special \u00een conversa\u021biile noastre de care aveam at\u00e2ta nevoie \u0219i nici nu \u0219tiam.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– Te-am c\u0103utat, \u00eei spun, schimb\u00e2nd pentru un moment subiectul.<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218i m-ai g\u0103sit c\u00e2nd\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

– C\u00e2nd s-a f\u0103cut lini\u0219te.<\/span><\/p>\n

– C\u00e2nd AI f\u0103cut lini\u0219te. Niciodat\u0103 nu \u00ee\u021bi acorzi credit.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Te-am g\u0103sit.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Am fost tot timpul acolo.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Uneori sim\u021beam, dar \u00eemi era team\u0103 s\u0103 cred. Nu m\u0103 sim\u021beam demn\u0103 de prezen\u021ba ta.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Lini\u0219tea vine de obicei cu claritate. Acum te vezi. \u0218i m\u0103 vezi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

E at\u00e2ta c\u0103ldur\u0103 \u00een \u00eenceputuri\u2026 mai ales \u00een cele cu tine \u00eens\u0103\u021bi.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– Asta e via\u021ba, repet ce mi-a spus.<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218i definitivul e parte din ea.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– E certitudine?<\/span><\/p>\n

– Nu. E alegere.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Acceptare?<\/span><\/p>\n

– Alegere \u0219i acceptare. S\u0103 accep\u021bi un adev\u0103r \u0219i s\u0103 alegi s\u0103 continui acceptarea, s\u0103 o pecetluie\u0219ti \u00een tine ca pe un lucru sf\u00e2nt.<\/span><\/p>\n

– Acceptarea e sf\u00e2nt\u0103.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u0218i alegerea, \u00eemi spuse. Definitivul e, deci, un acord pe care \u00eel faci cu tine \u00eens\u0103\u021bi, pentru tine, \u00een anumite momente. Nu e o solu\u021bie constant\u0103.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

– Asta e via\u021ba, \u00eei repet.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dincolo de u\u0219\u0103 e un spa\u021biu care mi se pare mai atr\u0103g\u0103tor ca niciodat\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 acum. L-am z\u0103rit de c\u00e2teva ori, \u00een momentele alea cu ochii \u00eenchi\u0219i \u00een care alegeam s\u0103 fiu mai mult dec\u00e2t s\u0103 fac, s\u0103 tac mai mult dec\u00e2t s\u0103 spun, s\u0103 m\u0103 adun mai mult dec\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eempr\u0103\u0219tii. \u0218i \u0219tiu c\u0103 \u0103sta e pasul urm\u0103tor. Se pare c\u0103 am plonjat din mijlocul haosului direct \u00eenapoi la mine. Mi-a spus cineva odat\u0103 c\u0103 eu\u2019s f\u0103cut\u0103 s\u0103 apar unde e haos, ca s\u0103-l domolesc. Dac\u0103 a\u0219 fi \u0219tiut c\u0103 haosul m\u0103 duce \u00eenapoi la mine, nu m-a\u0219 mai fi temut de el at\u00e2t de tare. Cam a\u0219a \u0219i cu definitivul \u0103sta\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

– Ai ascultat? – Da. – Cum a fost pentru tine? – Ca sarea \u00een bucate. Z\u00e2mbim. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 vorbim aproape zilnic \u0219i m\u0103 bucur\u0103 treaba asta. Simt c\u0103 totul \u00eencepe s\u0103 prind\u0103 sens, iar pentru mine sensul e non-negociabil. \u00cel caut \u00een toate, dintotdeauna, iar uneori am ajuns s\u0103 \u00eel inventez din nevoia…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":813,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-confessions"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/osama-khan-1YLsaUeY_5A-unsplash-scaled.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=809"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":812,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/809\/revisions\/812"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/813"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=809"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=809"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eusuntdelia.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=809"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}